July 21, 2004

• They do actually listen (sometimes)

  
  

   

  
  

  I’ve been talking (preaching) to my son over the last few months about the concept of becoming responsible for his own well being.  This concept of personal responsibility covered the full gamut of life’s challenges ranging from healthy eating habits and exercise to assuming the responsibility for planning his education plans.  The raw form of present accomplishments along these lines was the typical teenage boy; immersed in his own world of me and now; get up, eat cereal, play on computer, call friend, play on computer, eat chips, play on computer, look for temporary job (3.8 minutes), play on computer…and so on.  He was graduating from high school and headed for college.  I pointed out to him that there was a reason that mail from his college was address to him and not “Parents of…”.   They are assuming that they are dealing with responsible adults (or at least they are going to force the issue).

  
  

   

  
  

  Well, these various discussions seemed to go like the previous 1,392,456 had; in one wax laden ear and out the other (how’s it do that?)  However, to my pleasant surprise I have actually begun to see a gradual change.  He started making a list of things that had to be done and started keeping a calendar.  He announced a month ago that keeping track of his busy life required a Palm Pilot; well, so be it.  We got the gadget and he is actually using it.  We attended a local committee meeting in order to get permission to do his Eagle Scout project and low and behold he was sitting there taking notes on his PP, recording dates, names, and contact info.  Damn!, I thought, “this is all starting to come together”.

  
  

   

  
  

  So, this morning I got a call from Wife, “do you know where Son is?”  “Noooo, why”, I responded.  “Well he left the house this morning without saying anything and the dentist office called and said he hadn’t shown up for his appointment”, Wife exclaimed with not too little panic in her voice.  I mean, after all, the possibilities of calamity were endless, broken down car, car wreck, girl friend (naw), or abduction by Taliban Freedom Fighters. “He’s supposed to be at work at 10:00.  At 10:00 I’ll call over and see if he showed up”, I said very calmly.  He’s working at a little company that is across the parking lot from my office, so I walked over a little after 10:00.  “Hey son”, I said in greeting.  “Hi dad”, he replied.  “You missed your dentist appointment this morning”, I said, trying to keep my tone very neutral.  “No, I didn’t”, he said with the obvious look of someone who has just pulled off a mild coupe.  “Dr. X’s (dentist) office called and said you didn’t show up”, I responded.  “Dr. X?  I went to Dr. Y (orthodontist)”, Son said with an instantaneous shift in facial expression to one of chagrin.

  
  

   

  
  

  I just grinned to myself and thought, “Well, we’ve come a long way, we’ll just have to work on the pesky details later”.

  • 2:29 pm
  • 1 Comment