May 9, 2005
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Just when I start feeling cocky and let my psychy dream up this image of my body being exceptionally robust and able to beat the statistics, the beast reaches out of the shadows and smacks me on the head, "Wake up stupid, it's time for a another wraslin' match!"
I just got off of the phone with my onc's nurse (an exceptionally kind and capable woman) She gave me the bottom line from the scans; the tumor around the pancreas has taken off and is up to about 12cm x 7cm. She is faxing the reports to me. I like to read them over and over, looking for screwups like, "Hey, that not my name at the top of the sheet!". Since that approach never has worked, we went ahead and scheduled some R-juice (Rituxan) for in the morning.
Comments (4)
Life. Keeps us on our toes, doesn't it? I was so hoping that you had beaten the beast once and for all. Maybe it's just a feeble last raising of it's ugly head before it gives the last gasp.
Keep strong, and know we're out here rootin' for you! ~ Paloma
Let's hear it for that R-juice! (and the brave fellow out there on the wraslin' floor).
May you have the stamina of my 4-year-old, who I just picked up from preschool limp and sick (nothing like the smell of throw-up in a hot car), but who is now apparently completely a-okay, sitting chatting beside me (it may have had something to do with the huge cup of 7-up she just downed....and which she is not allowed to drink unless sick -- hmmm).
Sending you best wishes...
i have a fear of letting cockiness take over.
the waiting is always there. drags you down after awhile.
i should learn to do like you did...just to let it go and take what comes.
hang in there, alright? (gah, i hate "hang in there") i'm at a loss for anything else to say other than just plain..."f*&#".
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