I will write briefly. I have taken an anti-nausea that brings on the sleepies fairly quickly. The thought running through my mind concerns the idea that i think we can lull ourselves into a sense of equity; of fairness. We can fairly indulge in life and take our fair share of the bounties; at the same time we expect to be dealt a bit of challenges to overcome; glitches in our effortless enjoyment of life. Each culture probably has a different sense of what is fair in this negative part of life. Any more than our fair share and we start using phrases like, “why am I being shit on?” Certainly people who were devastated by Katrina and then only weeks later clobbered by Rita would be justified in wondering which god was getting his jollies by pissing on their picnic.
In the last few years our family has dealt with illness and deaths, some tragic, some just sad. But, at no time have I felt that I was being hit with more than my fair share of life’s negative side. Really. It never crossed my mind, “why me”. I look around at those who deal with such horrible conditions and wonder, “why not me”.
This week, my sense of fairness may have been shaken. We learned that my 84 year old mother has breast cancer. So far it sounds like timing, size, location, etc. would indicate that it is the better of a bad situation. She lives in a condo in my little town, but there is already talk of having her going to stay with a brother who lives near Philly. She should be able to find an excellent oncologist and my sister-in-law can get her to and from appointments. It’s all doable. But that is about the best I can say about it. Yes, there are many poor souls who have it much worse with little hope of ever seeing improvement in their lives but, this is my mother and I’m having a hard time wondering who decided they had to piss on our parade.
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